Outside it’s late afternoon and the tree’s are swaying against the blue September skies. There’s a chill in the air clinging to the days last perennial bloom. Autumn brings reflection and contemplation. It’s the season of solitude and the smell of burning leaves. In the distance there’s the sound of howling dogs, even they know the pain of yesterdays last second chance.

I wonder what became of you. What is it that made you disappear and leave us all behind. I wanted to know so bad that it made me ache deep down inside. I remember the sound of your voice, your words were filled with sadness and passion, like the quivering melody of My Funny Valentine being played by Chet Baker. From the ether came his soft meandering melodies like specters floating in the air.

You wanted life to be safer——love to be warmer——didn’t you? But as we all find out, life is neither safe nor fair. I was always expecting things to be different, or, should I say, better than the way things are? Was I asking for too much. All I wanted was a place where I could empty my boots of sand and let go of all my foreclosed dreams.

But life is big—-to big, it made me feel small and insignificant. All I had were the secrets we shared and the promises we broke. 

Sometimes we’re born and given the wrong name, from the wrong family, lost and scared, having faith in the nothingness of it all, holding out for a missed opportunity, expecting a complacent life, betting on lost causes, praying for a reprieve. As we walk down vacant streets as if they lead to somewhere-anywhere.