Weird World
Chet Baker’s Trumpet
Outside it’s late afternoon and the tree’s are swaying against the blue September skies. There’s a chill in the air clinging to the days last perennial bloom. Autumn brings reflection and contemplation. It’s the season of solitude and the smell of burning leaves. In the distance there’s the sound of howling dogs, even they know the pain of yesterdays last second chance.
I wonder what became of you. What is it that made you disappear and leave us all behind. I wanted to know so bad that it made me ache deep down inside. I remember the sound of your voice, your words were filled with sadness and passion, like the quivering melody of My Funny Valentine being played by Chet Baker. From the ether came his soft meandering melodies like specters floating in the air.
You wanted life to be safer——love to be warmer——didn’t you? But as we all find out, life is neither safe nor fair. I was always expecting things to be different, or, should I say, better than the way things are? Was I asking for too much. All I wanted was a place where I could empty my boots of sand and let go of all my foreclosed dreams.
But life is big—-to big, it made me feel small and insignificant. All I had were the secrets we shared and the promises we broke.
Sometimes we’re born and given the wrong name, from the wrong family, lost and scared, having faith in the nothingness of it all, holding out for a missed opportunity, expecting a complacent life, betting on lost causes, praying for a reprieve. As we walk down vacant streets as if they lead to somewhere-anywhere.
Heaven Help Us All
Walking on a rainbow, calling to the thunder
With the eyes of a child, wide open with wonder
There’s magic all around us, like a vision from a dream
We’ve fallen from the sky; we’re angels who’ve lost our wings
Verse
Love is an echo, love is a stone
Love’s a mirage, that we’ve all been shown
This life is a dream, life’s a fantasy
Life’s a dying star, over you and me
Bridge
The more things change the more they stay the same
Each generation passing on the blame
You’d think we’d learn, you’d think we’d evolve
Take a look at the news; it ain’t the case at all
Rap
Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Jew
A thousand roads leading back to you
Listen to your words tell me what they say
Is it for yourself, or others you pray
Cities are on fire, the children are lost
Blind faith nailed, to a plastic cross
Holy wars, freedom, democracy
Deep fried grease and hypocrisy
Show a little love, drop the hate
Forgiveness is the key to heaven’s gate
Chorus
Heaven, heaven help us all
Heaven, won’t you catch me if I fall
Verse II
Hates in the mirror, hates everywhere
It’s in your bible, if you’re looking for it there
Truth is an ocean; it’s burning in the sun
It’s there in your Shadow, that you can’t out run
Bridge
The more things change, the more they stay the same
Each generation passing off the shame
You’d think we’d grow, you’d think we’d evolve
Learn to love one another, that ain’t the case at all
Rap
Chorus
Love, A Four Letter Word
Infidelity, what side of it are you on? Are you the cheater or the cheated? My best friend has been calling me and telling me how he is no longer in love with his wife. The situation is a bit of a cliche. He has fallen in love with his office mate. She’s half his age and very flirtatious. She wears short skirts and tight blouses. When she bends over the file cabinet he swears he can see the full moon. He speaks about her as if she is an angel sent from heaven. The relationship has incrementally grown into a full blown affair. This is the stage where infatuation creates clouded choices and blind predilections. You begin to believe that you’re the first and only person who’s ever felt the adenine rush of being in love.
He can’t stop speaking about her. “She’s sexy.” “She “gets me”. “She’s my soulmate”. “I’ve never felt like the before”. “I’m going to marry her”. “She loves me, and I love her.” Warning, the word “love” can be a slippery slope. It’s frequently misused and means different things to different people. It’s malleable and disregards common sense. It’s a masquerade, a mirage. It’ll cause those old bones to rattle from a flood of testosterone. Before you know it, you’re ordering the old man’s drug “Viagra”.
In the beginning you share life stories. You share dreams, aspirations and heartaches. She starts siting a little closer to you. She lets you smell her perfume. You nervously respond with grinding hugs and gentle caresses; incrementally crossing lines of appropriateness. You write one another passionate texts, sharing favorite songs, exchanging promises and intimate suggestions. You’re like a teenager discovering a fist love. The sky opens up and a choir sings. You get goose bumps just by holding her hand. The love songs on the radio seem to be composed specifically for you.
It’s the small things that breakup a relationship. It’s the slow gnawing away of loyalty and trust. Love without trust leads to broken vows and broken hearts. You unwittingly become strangers to one another. Once you’er married the passion is consumed by the endless housekeeping tasks that need to be done. There’s no longer time for the fun things that hold a couple together. It becomes a business partnership. Everything feels like a chore. Bills need to be paid. The car needs fixed. The faucet leaks. The mortgage and home insurance are due. Sex is a routine that feels more like an obligation rather than an expression of intimacy.
Who’s gonna throw out the garbage? Who’s gonna do the laundry? Who’s in charge of the finances? Who’s gonna decide what’s for dinner? Who’s gonna do the dishes? Who’s gonna feed the dog? Everything seems to be collapsing and falling apart around you both.
The cute little chick at the office doesn’t have to share in all these boring mundane tasks. She doesn’t have to figuratively or literally scrub the stains out of your shorts. She keeps you hanging on by allowing you to play grab ass. Everything is fun and exciting. But beware, there ain’t no fool like an old fool.
Love, everyone wants to feel that way again. To feel alive and excited, to be touched and to feel the touch of another. How long should a love last? Does it have an expiration date?. In time, all those little annoyances accumulate into an excruciating sense of resentment. The romance is siphoned off as the hard-work of trying to remain in love with someone becomes fatiguing.
In time, your perfect lover no longer seems so perfect. They’re petty, selfish and predictable just like the rest of us. They’ll roll over and fart, they’ll wake up with bad breath, they make weird faces when having sex, their opinions are stupid, they dress like a slob on weekends, they no longer look at you with that look of excitement. The fuel of love sputters and evaporates. It feels more like a trap and less like a dream come true.
Just as it’s the little things that break up a relationship, it’s also true that it’s the little things that keep a relationship alive. As the saying goes, “love is a verb” it requires action. It’s wrapped up in all the little boring gestures like patience, forgiveness, understanding, listening, being heard and sharing in all the victories and loses that this life will dish out.
There’s no counseling or magic drug that will resurrect a dyeing love. In the end, it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it. Is it worth fighting for, or is it a lost cause?
In spite of the hazards, we still choose to fall in love. We dive in heart first into a lake of fire. In this crazy life we all crave intimacy over complacency. We all want to feel immaculate, sexy and valued by our partner. But we’re only human, with all of our flaws, faults and blemishes. It’s a package deal, you have to take the good with the bad, because that’s the way it is. Introspectively you ask yourself, does the good outweigh the bad? Are you expecting too much, or too little out of love?
In the end, love is having fun with someone, it’s that simple. It’s spending time with someone who make you laugh, who make you feel alive, who make you feel like you matter. Settle for nothing less.
I’ll leave you with a riddle.
You know why they call it love?
Because all the other four letter words are already taken.
I Loved You, More than I loved Myself
Lets let it go
Like ya never knew my name
Like we’re perfect strangers
On a hell-bound train
Love is just a word
So often misused
The more it’s spoken
The less it means to you
I loved you, more than I loved my self
Isn’t it funny
How we lose our self
In somebody else
Where does love go
When it’s gone
When everybody’s right
And nobody’s wrong
There’s no turning back
There’s no hanging on
There’s only this emptiness
Now that our love is gone
I loved you, more than I loved my self
Isn’t it funny
How we lose ourself
In somebody else
Heaven Help Us All
Heaven Help Us All
Victor Uriz
Intro
Walking on a rainbow, calling to the thunder
With the eyes of a child, wide open with wonder
There’s magic all around us, like a vision from a dream
We’ve fallen from the sky; we’re angels who’ve lost our wings
Verse
Love is an echo, love is a stone
Love’s a mirage, that we’ve all been shown
This life is a dream, life’s a fantasy
Life’s a dying star, over you and me
Bridge
The more things change the more they stay the same
Each generation passing on the blame
You’d think we’d learn, you’d think we’d evolve
Take a look at the news; it ain’t the case at all
Rap
Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Jew
A thousand roads leading back to you
Listen to your words tell me what they say
Is it for yourself, or others you pray
Cities are on fire, the children are lost
Blind faith nailed, to a plastic cross
Holy wars, freedom, democracy
Deep fried grease and hypocrisy
Show a little love, drop the hate
Forgiveness is the key to heaven’s gate
Chorus
Heaven, heaven help us all
Heaven, won’t you catch me if I fall
Verse II
Hates in the mirror, hates everywhere
It’s in your bible, if you’re looking for it there
Truth is an ocean; it’s burning in the sun
It’s there in your Shadow, that you can’t out run
Bridge
The more things change, the more they stay the same
Each generation passing off the shame
You’d think we’d grow, you’d think we’d evolve
Learn to love one another, that ain’t the case at all
Rap
Chorus
Drip, Drip, Drip
Danced with the devil
Stepped on his tail
Got drunk in a tavern
I found Jesus in jail
Drank enough beer
To piss me an ocean
It’s hard to get lost
If you don’t care where you’re going
Bummed me a smoke
Fired up a light
Now I’m stuck in this tree
Like a tattered old kite
Chased a few rainbows
Searching for a pot of gold
When I was young
I never thought I’d grow old
Times a wad of gum
Stuck on your shoe
You can try to out run it
But it’ll catch up with you
Fates a leaky faucet
It goes Drip Drip Drip
What you deserve
Is usually what you get
One night stands
Well I had me a few
When it comes to love
I bit off more than I could chew
Made some mistakes
but I paid my dues
Smashed my TV
Tired of the same old bad news
You might same I’m crazy
Nutty as a fruitcake
If the fish ain’t bitting
It’s time to change your bait
Chased a few rainbows
Searching for a pot of gold
When I was young
I never thought I’d grow old
Fates a wad of gum
Stuck on your shoe
You can try to out run it
But it’ll catch up with you
Times a leaky faucet
It goes Drip Drip Drip
The good times I’ll remember
Bad ones I’ll forget
All That Ever Is
All That Ever Is
By Victor Uriz
The freeway sounds like the ocean, city lights look like stars
The ole moon singing down at me, to sound of a Spanish guitar
Trash dancing in the wind, my words cold clouds of steam
If I told you how I felt, would you say you still know what I mean
Streets dark and damp, puddles where the rain it fell
If I looked you in the eye, would you say you still know me well
Old friend have they gotten to you yet
Compromise yourself
Mayas what you get
What we become, these things we pretend
Careful what you value
These things become you in the end
All that ever is, ever will be or was, from original sin, to unconditional love
Beneath a crooked smile, I hear a tenor sax sad and low
The nights so lonely, I feel it in the notes he blows
Play it sweet, make it true, Lay it down real sad, brother won’t you make it blue
We can change this world, if we change our minds
Put it down in poem, for the deaf the dumb and for the blind
Old friend, have they gotten to you yet
Sacrifice yourself, Dharma’s what you get
What we become, these things we pretend
Careful what you value
These things become you in the end
All that ever is, ever will be or was, from original sin to unconditional love
