a crazed woman cut my heart out of my chest, she then carelessly disassembled it and put it back together all wrong, it was slippery with blood and hard to handle, so she shoved it back inside me where the organ for caring and giving a shit use to be…..these days I compulsively take my pulse in search of a rhythm, but all I feel is an occasional spastic fluttering in my chest, like a bird beating its wings against hurricane winds—and when it gets dark, it stops all together—

come closer to me, go ahead, lay your head on my chest, I’ll whisper, cause others may be listening—-at night those blues come stalking me, they peer through my blinds like some nefarious wide-eyed peeping Tom, leaving foggy predatory breath on the window pane—-the bleakness of it all tramples across the nothingness of another specter ridden midnight—I can feel my heart go still, like an unworn love left hanging in someones dusty closet, an addiction traded against a corrupted souls collateral, broken people warehoused like damaged goods, young kids with no fire in their eyes, an old guy going in circles on the metro for an as-semblance of company, the scent of morning rain on dirty pavement, damp leaves smoldering in the drizzle, the stench of alley piss—-time is blurring by like a whirl-wind whooshing past my car window on a Sunday drive to nowhere in-particular—-once again, I’m tired of me and how things get all twisted, I’m left staring into the futility of a gray weather beaten morning, realizing I’m no longer running from something, nor running to something—-I’m slowly being crushed under the ache that comes with knowing there’s got to be something better than this—-someplace—–somewhere—-cause this life is way to long to be miserable and far to short to be boring—its time I set that caged bird free, so lets get on with it boys—-

there’s too much pain in the world to believe I’m immune to it, or can hide from it—–or selfishly fear that I’m the only one being consumed by it—that would be a righteous sadness, the kind of sadness that beckons the lugubrious to replay a heartbreak love song over and over again.  Real sadness has no soundtrack, no words, no explanation—-its like tree sap that mysteriously shows up on your hands and can’t be washed off—-

people always ask me the same question “Was that story true or made-up?”   To be perfectly honest, I’m don’t know anymore.  Most of the stuff I once thought was true, ends up being a lie or an illusion, and what I thought was fiction (made-up) is just an alternative version of truth or reality that I’ve failed to grasp.  I’ve come to believe that what’s true, and what’s made up, is a predilection reserved for the teller of tales. 

but I do know this, one day that little bird trapped inside us all will be set free—-