Hero’s


Hero’s

And this is how it feels, now and again
Wet earthy scent after a rain
A sky destined to never return
Her warm breath whispering in my ear
More sensual than a kiss
Excavating lost passions 

Outside the traffic snarls 
Horns and sirens are unrelenting
Other peoples lives and troubles
Intrusive noise gives birth to city chaos 
Strangers stare back
At me, through me
We’re all
worn-out
Heros

Misfits, lost in another days meaningless commotion 
Revisiting past houses once lived in
The walls retain specters 
Trespassing on frozen memories
Like a favorite movie playing in the back of my mind
Hearts pierced, souls tattooed 
Everyone uniquely the same

Real life goes by undiscovered
Nothing matters anymore
A head full of shitty poems
Empty words dredged from the ether
Ashes filling my journals
Everything becomes
A reprieve
Or a lost cause

Sad Farewells

We leave little pieces of ourselves behind.  And it’s those little things that comprise a lifetime. The days seem slow but the years go by like a hurricane, sweeping the days away like a zephyr. Time is a train with it’s dark tunnels and clattering steel rails. It rattles and shakes over bridges suspended between then and now, here and there.  Leaves me wondering where am I going? Where am I meant to be?  I’m a weary traveler staring out my window as time flashes by in a blur. The whistle blows, new passengers climb aboard, while others suddenly depart, unexpectedly leaving us behind——mumbling sad farewells. 

Sweeping vistas lay across the countryside, cityscapes fall by the wayside.  The sun tight ropes the horizon. The scent of damp fields filters through the open window. Oh, to behold the beauty of life. There are those who sleep thru the entire sojourn, drowsy and uninterested. Some choose to complain the entire trip. For them, nothing is a miracle—-they’re in a constant hurry to get nowhere. 

We don’t always choose who is seated next to us, but be kind and considerate. This is how we make friends and find connections and compassion.  People come and people go, love is happenstance, so keep an open heart.

We never know when the conductor is going to come down the isle and ask for our ticket. We don’t know when we’ll be reaching our last stop, our final destination. It doesn’t matter if you’re in first class or riding coach, we’re all on the same train, we are all riding separate yet together.

Some believe that the train track is circular and goes on forever. But the train track is linear and goes forward on a straight line. It keeps going forward undeterred, it continues, with or without you. 

We are all passengers, moving through time and space. And the trip goes by oh so fast. Don’t waste a single moment. Before long the whistle may be calling you home. 

Life Scraps

I intended on telling you everything
But forgot too
Neglected too
Didn’t think I needed too
Thought there’d always be time for reminiscing
About the Mundane
Sometimes Insane 
Flickering memories
Frozen in golden amber
All these things
Seeping from our possessed hearts

I wish I’d told you
How important you were to me
That you were Irreplaceable
But now you’re gone
Except for
Scattered Life scraps
Listen
I’m sending you these
Gossamer
Visions

About the things we once believed in
Like

Fast cars
Hot unapproachable girls
Nihilism and god
The absurdity of it all
Beer runs
Soul searching
Serious confessions 
Nervous laughter 
Blinding truths
Music and poetry
Secret battles
Lost faith 
Dark drives
Riding in your beat up car
On cold December nights 
Dim headlights
Leading us nowhere
Peering at life
With all its illusions 
Playing our drunk and stoned
Out of tune guitars
Comparing life notes
Life messes
Life lessens
Opportunities missed
Abandoned promises
Posing our questions
Having flashes 
Of momentary clarity

Time sneaked up on us
Here then gone
How could have we known
The inevitability of it all
If given a second chance
I’d play it differently 
But you’re gone
And it’s too late
And there’s nothing worse than
Being too late
And you, like most of the holly things I value
I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you
But I do

==============Of Tears—————

I just want it to rain
I want to be left alone
Except for the sound of rain 
On blurry rain strewn window panes

I’m sick and tired of the 24/7 news cycles
It’s not new, news
It’s the same fucked up repetitive bullshit
Over and over
People killing people
Children starving
Bombs exploding
Turning buildings and lives into rubble 
Where people
Once walked their dogs
Lived
Proudly called such misery
home?
Where the lost innocence of a child
Is excused as collateral damage
What a cruel world

Listen
The billionaires and politicians
They don’t give a shit about you
They’d just as soon
Grind your bones into dust
And blow your remains into the void 

I just want it to rain
I want to be left alone
Perfectly
Quiete 
But for the sound
The sound of rain
The sound poetry makes
As silent prayers fill puddles
With tears

———————-Deeper——————

I’m holding my breath
Because you gotta dive deep
Real deep
To find the ethereal things
Where the mermaids and Gods sleep
Deep and deeper
Dark and darker
Beyond the light
Only pure blackness
Down there, where there’s only
Muted sounds
Only the sound of your own heart beating
Thundering between your temples 
Fear is in the hands of your demons
And guarding angels
Hold my hand
Show me your face
Show me everything
Do you wanna come with me
Swimming beyond the deep
Past, where there’s no going back
Beyond where it’s no longer safe
I swear
I can’t breathe
Open your mouth
Give me your breath
Give me life  

The Last Second Chance

So be brave 
Everyone is going thru something
No one really cares or understands why
We all have our own living hell
Everyone is barely hanging on
Tired, lonely and the depressed
It’s just the way this life is
That’s just the way it goes


So be strong
Everyone is going thru something
The ragged homeless guy panhandling for pocket change
The trembling drug addict, dope sick
The innocence locked-up inside us all
The suicidal beauty queen 
That’s just the way this life is
That’s just the way it goes


So be alive
Everyone is going through something
There’s howling wolves at the door
There’s night terrors in our dreams
There’s horrors in the waking hours
It’s all red lights and sirens 
The noose dangles then tightens
It’s just the way this life is
That’s just the way it goes



So be happy
Everyone is going through something
Regardless of it all
Stare the devil down
Throw rocks at the squawking ravens
Toss your shoes over the power-lines
Watch your bridges burn as they light your way 
It’s just the way this life is
That’s just the way it goes

So be bold
Everyone is going through something
Your deliverance is paid for with your intentions
There’s a sacredness discovered in your last second chance
Nobility awaits the headstrong
You either give up, or get up again
There’s everlasting glory for those who refuse to give in
We find out what were made of in the 15th round
It’s just the way this life is
That’s just the way it goes




















In The Depths

When I was a kid, I’d hop on my Stingray bike and ride it down to the city pool. I grew up in the Sacramento Valley where the summer temperatures could climb into the triple digits. 105, 108, Sometimes as high as 116. There would be a droning hum throughout  the suburbs of air conditioners struggling to keep the stucco track houses cool. The streets are vacant. No one dares walk barefoot on the scorching pavement. Occasionally I would hear a distant weed eater or lawn mower. Much of the yard work was done by Mexicans. All the Republicans wanted the Mexicans to be deported just as soon as they finished grooming their immaculate lawns. 

The only refuge for a kid like me was the city pool. Girls were screaming, boys had their water fights, kids would be doing flips and cannon balls off the high-board. All the commotion was unnerving to me. I’d dive in and swim to the deepest part of the pool and stay there for as long as I could hold my breath. Down there in the coolness, there was a tranquil silence, everything moved in slow motion. I’d sit at the bottom crossed legged Yoga style, looking like a red chlorine eyed Buddha. There’s a quietness there, a peaceful silence, like the deafening solitude found in the void of deep space, and there was a weightlessness like that felt while in the womb. With every birth the universe becomes renewed—-existence abhors a vacuum.

I’d burst through to the surface leaving my protective womb——body and soul colliding with the universe, I’m reborn into the madness—-Suddenly, inundated by the fracas of life with all its dissonance and chaos.  As I’d sink to the bottom, I’d become acutely aware of the sound of my heart beating in my ears.

I exist!

The Weather

I’d once thought I could tell her everything, anything—– and she’d be interested in me, she’d look me straight in the eye, She knew me, finding our common connection, a peak beneath the flesh

I don’t know to much about love, but I believe it does have something to do with being interested in the other person—-and that’s something that’s hard to fake

She use to make my coffee in the morning, and remind me to wear my jacket when it was cold out, and I suppose that’s a version of love, caring for someone is in the little things, something we don’t realize until we get old—– getting old is non negotiable—-kindness is a spiritual thing

At the kitchen table we struggle to feign interest In what the other has to say, we give up and settle on commenting about the days weather, enjoying the simplicity of sitting with someone, knowing the rhythm of their footsteps as they make their way down the hall, mesmerized by the sound of a familiar voice, it felt as if these days would stretch on forever—–nothing is forever, so cherish the moment, she once said

mourning and morning sound the same but are completely different things, they’re called Homophones

How can something once so fresh devolve into foggy memories, it’s like the morning fog as it fades away, late afternoons clouds wrap themselves around us. The sound of a distant fog horn breaks my heart

You can’t change the weather, yet people still want to know what it’s going to be