Sad Farewells

We leave little pieces of ourselves behind.  And it’s those little things that comprise a lifetime. The days seem slow but the years go by like a hurricane, sweeping the days away like a zephyr. Time is a train with it’s dark tunnels and clattering steel rails. It rattles and shakes over bridges suspended between then and now, here and there.  Leaves me wondering where am I going? Where am I meant to be?  I’m a weary traveler staring out my window as time flashes by in a blur. The whistle blows, new passengers climb aboard, while others suddenly depart, unexpectedly leaving us behind——mumbling sad farewells. 

Sweeping vistas lay across the countryside, cityscapes fall by the wayside.  The sun tight ropes the horizon. The scent of damp fields filters through the open window. Oh, to behold the beauty of life. There are those who sleep thru the entire sojourn, drowsy and uninterested. Some choose to complain the entire trip. For them, nothing is a miracle—-they’re in a constant hurry to get nowhere. 

We don’t always choose who is seated next to us, but be kind and considerate. This is how we make friends and find connections and compassion.  People come and people go, love is happenstance, so keep an open heart.

We never know when the conductor is going to come down the isle and ask for our ticket. We don’t know when we’ll be reaching our last stop, our final destination. It doesn’t matter if you’re in first class or riding coach, we’re all on the same train, we are all riding separate yet together.

Some believe that the train track is circular and goes on forever. But the train track is linear and goes forward on a straight line. It keeps going forward undeterred, it continues, with or without you. 

We are all passengers, moving through time and space. And the trip goes by oh so fast. Don’t waste a single moment. Before long the whistle may be calling you home. 

Life Scraps

I intended on telling you everything
But forgot too
Neglected too
Didn’t think I needed too
Thought there’d always be time for reminiscing
About the Mundane
Sometimes Insane 
Flickering memories
Frozen in golden amber
All these things
Seeping from our possessed hearts

I wish I’d told you
How important you were to me
That you were Irreplaceable
But now you’re gone
Except for
Scattered Life scraps
Listen
I’m sending you these
Gossamer
Visions

About the things we once believed in
Like

Fast cars
Hot unapproachable girls
Nihilism and god
The absurdity of it all
Beer runs
Soul searching
Serious confessions 
Nervous laughter 
Blinding truths
Music and poetry
Secret battles
Lost faith 
Dark drives
Riding in your beat up car
On cold December nights 
Dim headlights
Leading us nowhere
Peering at life
With all its illusions 
Playing our drunk and stoned
Out of tune guitars
Comparing life notes
Life messes
Life lessens
Opportunities missed
Abandoned promises
Posing our questions
Having flashes 
Of momentary clarity

Time sneaked up on us
Here then gone
How could have we known
The inevitability of it all
If given a second chance
I’d play it differently 
But you’re gone
And it’s too late
And there’s nothing worse than
Being too late
And you, like most of the holly things I value
I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you
But I do

==============Of Tears—————

I just want it to rain
I want to be left alone
Except for the sound of rain 
On blurry rain strewn window panes

I’m sick and tired of the 24/7 news cycles
It’s not new, news
It’s the same fucked up repetitive bullshit
Over and over
People killing people
Children starving
Bombs exploding
Turning buildings and lives into rubble 
Where people
Once walked their dogs
Lived
Proudly called such misery
home?
Where the lost innocence of a child
Is excused as collateral damage
What a cruel world

Listen
The billionaires and politicians
They don’t give a shit about you
They’d just as soon
Grind your bones into dust
And blow your remains into the void 

I just want it to rain
I want to be left alone
Perfectly
Quiete 
But for the sound
The sound of rain
The sound poetry makes
As silent prayers fill puddles
With tears

———————-Deeper——————

I’m holding my breath
Because you gotta dive deep
Real deep
To find the ethereal things
Where the mermaids and Gods sleep
Deep and deeper
Dark and darker
Beyond the light
Only pure blackness
Down there, where there’s only
Muted sounds
Only the sound of your own heart beating
Thundering between your temples 
Fear is in the hands of your demons
And guarding angels
Hold my hand
Show me your face
Show me everything
Do you wanna come with me
Swimming beyond the deep
Past, where there’s no going back
Beyond where it’s no longer safe
I swear
I can’t breathe
Open your mouth
Give me your breath
Give me life  

Out Of Place

Moments pass, owned by no one. But I watched you through a  draining hourglass. Forgive my troubled thoughts, as I attempt to reach you, but words are only shadows with no substance, truth is there hiding in the blinding flash of dissolving passion. Life is a vapor and love is our only wayback home. And she makes everything okay when everything is all wrong——like me, she’s always out of place.

And that December Sierra wind blows hard leaving coarse lines across my beard stubbled face. I’ve met a lot of people in this life, but I’ve found few with the soul, the grace and life energy that’s possessed in her. She gives the room electricity when she enters into it. She looks at life with focus, clarity and has compassion for those in their times of trouble. She’s aways handy with a joke and a listening ear. She’ll be my harlequin and I her Captain.

She cares about the right things, family, friends, laughter, good conversations, music, savory food, moments of shared companionship. I feel like telling her everything, and we’d connect the dots. Everything is so ironic, everything is stupid, except not for you. You know the punch line, you understand how the story ends. You know me, and that’s not an easy assignment.