funny

I’m Gonna Treat Ya Like You’re Not My Wife

If you were my lover

I’d hold ya tight

But you ain’t my lover

You’re just my wife 

If you were my lover

I’d make ya moan and scream

But you’re not my lover

Who gets naked in my dreams

If you were my lover

I wouldn’t holler you wouldn’t bitch

But you’re not my lover

You no longer scratch my itch

If you were my lover

I’d take ya home

But you’re not my lover

So I’m sleeping alone

I’m gonna take ya on a date

I’m gonna treat ya right

I’m gonna treat like a girlfriend

I’m gonna treat ya like you’re not my wife

If you were my lover

I’d give ya hugs and kisses

But I’m not your lover

You’re not my mistress

If you were my lover

You’d be my fantasy

But you’re not my lover

What ya get is what ya see

If you were my lover

I’d take you to bed

But I’m not my lover

That’s what you said

If you were my lover

I’d ask you to marry me

But you’r not my lover

You’re already my wife ya see

I’m gonna take ya on a date

I’m gonna treat ya right

I’m gonna treat like a girlfriend

I’m gonna treat ya like you’re not my wife

What You Deserve

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This tune was written in homage to John Prine, my favorite folk artist.  He could write a lyric that straddles that fine line between silly and sad.  He can take the ordinary and make it seem extraordinary.

 

Drip, Drip, Drip

I danced with the devil
I stepped on his tail
Got drunk in a tavern
Found Jesus in jail

Drank enough beer
To piss me an ocean
It’s hard to get lost
When ya don’t care where you’re going

I bummed me a smoke
fired up a light
Now I’m stuck in this tree
Like a tattered old kite

Chased a few rainbows
Searching for a pot of gold
When I was young
Never thought I’d grow old

Times a wad of gum
stuck on your shoe
you can try and out run it
but it’ll catch up with you

Fates a leaky faucet
That drip, drip, drips
What you deserves
Is usually what you get

One night stands
Well, I had me a few
When it comes to loving
Bit off more than I could chew.

Made some mistakes
Yeah, I paid my dues
Smashed my TV
Tired of, the same ole bad news

You might say I’m crazy
Nutty as a fruit cake
If the fish ain’t bitting
It’s time to change your bait.

Chased a few rainbows
Searching for a pot of gold
When I was young
Never thought I’d grow old

Fates a wad of gum
stuck on your shoe
you can try to out run it
but it’ll catch up with you

Time’s a leaky faucet
That goes drip, drip, drips
The good times I’ll remember
The bad ones I’ll forget